S1. Ep2. Codependence Day

"Everyone has heard of the Hamptons. That is like your mom's friend who wears pearls. My group of friends go to Montauk. That is like your mom's friend's daughter...who is a little promiscuous. By a little, I mean a lot. A group of friends at a beach house is like adult summer camp; without counselors and a lot of alcohol," according to frat boy Kyle. He is the kind of guy who is trying to make the movie Old School Part 2. 

Episode starts with Lauren waking up in bed with Carl- her sister is considering ordering a home STD test for her. Lauren insists nothing happened; which is Reality Television 101 of denial is everything until your cover is blown by cameras and the mics you conveniently forget. But as Kyle says, it is all good because when one gets a STD, they all do. Share alike as friends do! Sharing is caring. 

Lindsay has really white teeth.

Everett offered to sleep in a cardboard box with Lindsay; she thinks this is a major hardship and pledge of his affection and intentions. Everett was a Marine. This isn't a stretch with his prior training. Affection is not telling you to shut up all the time when you are only talking about yourself or demanding attention. He is trained for hardship and sacrifice- a cardboard box is better than probably some of the sand trenches he has been forced to grab some shut eye in. And Lindsay has really white teeth.

Kyle covers for the lameness of the Independence Day party cameras with the lack of attendance; not based on their location and filming licenses this year or over inflated Summer House antics (because the heart grows fonder in time like a Titanic theme song) but because people are in the city are getting their lives together in the city.

One of the twins, not sure which one, but one half of the Siamese Cats of Lady and The Tramp, said they bought hot dogs and hamburgers for the big day. She thought they were taking on too much and was going to be in the kitchen all day. Apparently, not much pairs with New Orleans Style Hurricanes. So that's how they keep their bathing suit fit bodies. (Forehead smack)

Peter AKA Mutherluvin Kyle Pan, tries to pull a Carl but doesn't have a lick of discretion, invited his on and off girlfriend- on when cameras aren't rolling- in the hopes that if there isn't any other hot girls (or ones who will give his mullet a chance like John Lennon's Give Peace a Chance too) at the 4th of July party then he has a sure thing to go home with. 

And then it happens- like any Bravo TV Show has to pass the gauntlet or basics of a Reality Show- cast members approach Lindsay on the gossip of her moving in with Everett. For any New Yorker, the risk of losing rent money or gaining a complete freak who has homicidal tendencies is a major dramatics- worthy of any second gossip and then Bravo TV contrived conflict set-up. 

Lindsay and Everett get in a fight over a text from a co-worker. Female. Did I remind you that Everett was a Marine? That women work alongside men in the Marine Corps- there is a dynamic of trust and brotherhood there that doesn't involve what sex you are below the belt. Maybe it was innocent and she is his brother in arms in his cubicle workplace now. Lindsay has white teeth. Still. Seriously. What a B*tch. White Teeth.

Lauren is picking out China patterns for her wedding in her head while confusing Carl's name with her twin sister's husband's name, Brad. Carl isn't looking to be the groom- he just is looking to get laid when he attends a wedding back home.

Party Like A Gangster

In a desert oasis, the dream of a mobster Bugsy Siegel grew up to be the Flamingo Hotel and the Las Vegas we know today. On the opening day in 1946, the  comedian Jimmy Durante featured along with Cuban band leader Xavier Cugat. Other Hollywood notables, friends of Siegel attended; such as, George Raft, George Sanders, Sonny Tufts and George Jessel. The opening, on the 26th of December, was basically a failure. Bad weather prevented other Hollywood celebrities from coming. The casino lost $300,000 in the first week. The gamblers who were in attendance did not take rooms and took their money elsewhere. Siegel was attracted to the Las Vegas area due to the legalized gambling and off-track betting; he saw money in that desert city. The Flamingo hotel was named after Bugsy's mistress- Virginia Hill. She had red hair and long legs. Two weeks after the grand opening, Siegel's dream closed down. The following April, he reopened the hotel and by May it was turning a profit. However, Bugsy's life would still be in danger and his death warrant sealed. His organized crime partners didn't believe he was giving them a square cut- so they gunned him down at Hill's Beverly Hills Mansion in June of 1947. His mistress had left for Paris ten days prior as a result of a fight. 


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S1. Ep1. Summer House

The pilot episode opens with an awkward entrance of Bravo TV's other show Vanderpump Rules  by having the ladies visit Summer House to introduce the series. This New Yorkers career-ladder-climbing tribe does not need  some California restaurant servers to acquaint them with how to work hard and party harder. Also, do we really like it when Reality Shows intermix?  When reality shows collide- it is like running into your kids' teacher at the bar- like wait- what are you doing here? Just uncomfortable. You don't belong here. It can be said it is further corrupting to cast to exposed to Stassi's Reality TV Charm School- they didn't even start yet without "her advice" and Alpha female guerrilla tactics.

Kyle is trying to get Stassi from Vanderpump Rule's in bed, he forgot her name and struck out. Mission not accomplished. His reasoning for their destiny was: "She is blonde. I am blonde. Blondes are supposed to mate from what I understand. Some recessive gene trait thing." Comparing her to Steve Jobs wasn't going to get that job done. (Side note- Stassi dresses for women; definitely not for other men by her Steve Jobs' turtleneck swimsuit. Maybe she thought men were into technology and would make the jump to smart attired bathing suits- they would make the jump from one set of apples for another.)

After the Summer House cast recover from their fangirling of the Vanderpump Rules ladies, viewers get to see what the morning after looks like at the house. They don't call it the Sunday Scaries for nothing. Or wait- was it Monday?

A  passive aggressive dynamic is established over sunblock between Lindsay and Cristina. Apparently, no frat boy fantasy of rubbing Coppertone on each other is happening here. 

Lindsay accuses Cristina of being jealous of her relationship with Everett- man, she called it there. I would be jealous of the um...passion they share. Passionately fighting. Passionately passive aggressive. Basically reminding all of us why we don't bring sand to the beach. 

Carl is established as the object of Lauren's obsession, I mean affections. Classic case of challenged accepted- let's see if we can turn this Peter Pan syndrome into a real man and monogamous. She said he has been in New York for just two years- and still riding the Disneyland rides of singledom. Peter Pan is still hanging with the lost boys- he isn't looking for a momma just yet. You are not Wendy and you are tall to be Tink. Only thing you will end up with is a stomachache and maybe a prescription from a gyno or a psychiatrist from a day at that Disneyland attraction.

Summer Like A Rockefeller

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Four generations of the Rockefeller family visited the estate Kykuit in Sleepy Hollow, New York. 40 rooms in the home, it was built by the oil baron John D. Rockefeller. Between 1906-1913, the house was designed by the architects Chester Holmes Aldrich and William Adam Delano. Later, the façade was changed and the gardens were designed by William Welles Bosworth. Four generations of Rockefellers have summered here in Westchester County. The word means "lookout" in Dutch. Nelson Rockefeller's son, Michael, was the fifth child of the governor. This young man was infamous for disappearing during an expedition in the Asmat Region of southwest Netherlands New Guinea on 19 November 1961.  When he was 23, he went village to village in the Dutch colony, collecting pieces of art to be shown at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Michael and an anthropologist were in a dugout canoe when it was over turned about 3 miles from shore. After they were drifting for awhile and help was slow to come- Michael said, "I think I can make it"  and began to swim for shore. The anthropologist was rescued the next day, but the Rockefeller heir was not seen again. Theories ranged from cannibals to drowning to exposure. His body was never found. For More Information


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